Proof I am lame

So, I am super excited.  I found the one and only baby item that I really wanted to have used and am picking it up on Saturday.  How sad is it that?  Mike calls it a cage, but I just like how it looks and think it will be great for camping this fall. The top comes off, like a tent rain fly.

The reason I am such a geek is that I saw this months ago, wanted one, and then found out that they don't sell it in the US  (probably looks too much like a cage...).  They do sell it in Canada, but luckily I only have to go as far as Portland to pick it up.  I'm meeting someone from Washington at the Lego Brick Convention in Portland on Saturday.  That's right, for my weekend off work I am looking at Legos and picking up baby gear.  Lame.

The significance of 10 weeks

So, yesterday marked the "30 weeks" milestone for our little boy. Which means I only have 9 weeks to go if my scheduled "C" goes forward, maximum of 10 if some ultrasound miracle occurs.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

10 weeks is the length of an academic term at OSU.  I know what 10 weeks feels like.  It goes FAST.  One day you can think "ah, week 3, I've got plenty of time" and somehow the next day it is freaking finals.   I feel like I'm going to be thinking "oh, I've got plenty of time" the night before I go into labor.

Plus, I am terrified of the hospital.  I know I have to be there.  We've already had too many issues to consider anything other than surgical help on hand, but I get a little panicky just thinking about going back into the maternity ward.  I took a tour and things are really different now compared to a decade-plus ago when I had Lawrence, but I'm still nervous. (understatement)

I need to start making a list I think.  Lists always make me feel better, even if they are long and completely unrealistic.

what's in a name?

We may have a name for our little boy.  We are in the "trying it out" stage where we are using the name to refer to the baby.  Up until this point we had been calling it Kingsley, since that was a name we KNEW we were not going to use.

The problem is that everyone who has heard it so far hates it. 

Ellsworth Loren Harper.    Loren is Mike's and his dad's middle name, so we have known  that piece for awhile.  ANd much to Lawrence's dismay, the baby's last name will be Harper  (Lawrence thinks we need more Winowieckis in the world....)

So it was just the first name we were struggling with.  Ellsworth is another male family name in Mike's family.  I like it.  It's old fashioned and not "in style" right now so there won't be six Ellsworths in his class, but its not so bizarre and made-up that no one will know how to pronounce it.

I've almost got Lawrence on board by saying he can be "Big L" and the baby can be "Little Ell"...

Is it really that horrible of a name?  Is it mean to give a kid an old-fashioned family name instead of something more trendy?

Sigh, I wish I could just call him "baby Harper" until he was 3 and then decide based on his personality.

Sex education without a social filter

Lawrence is currently in the "health education" unit of 5th grade.  Each day he comes home saying the day was great, no details, BUT then at some point in the evening poses a question or makes a statement that helps me know what they are covering....

-"I hope I never have a wet dream.  I don't want to have sperm in my bed."
-"I hope my baby brother gets taken out through your stomach, and not the weird way"  (they watched a video!  amazingly, it was the amount of hair on a woman that creeped him out on vaginal delivery...)
-"Now I get why you bleed on those cottons."
-"Where does the pee come from for a girl?"   The discussion that followed made him decide that girls were weirder than ever since they have "three openings".

For the most part he doesn't seem to want to "talk" or have too many questions, he is just disgusted by the whole process.  He did suggest that if he did ever have to suffer the indignity of a wet dream, maybe he should get a special reward, like a welcome to puberty gift or something.  Any excuse is a good time to angle for legos!

Last night I told Mike he was welcome to jump in anytime and help, I mean, what do I REALLY know about wet dreams besides what I learned back in 6th grade sex ed??  He calmly responded that he was fine and as far as he was concerned everything that had been brought up so far was on his list of things-I-never-want-to-discuss-with-my-parents.  I'm glad Lawrence feels comfortable talking about it, I never did (and still don't but I'm trying!) but I suspect it has less to do with an environment of trust and respect and more with a lack of awareness of awkward subjects.

Going off half-packed

Sigh.  Today I began unpacking.

Being organized and proactive definitely did NOT pay off!  Now, granted, I only had about 15 boxes packed - which in the scheme of the whole house is nothing.  However, I had already gone into mental "moving" mode.

Moving mode is where I let little things slide.  Why bother dusting?  Once the house is all packed we'll scrub the walls.  Why continue my spring cleaning goal of decluttering and organizine one drawer or cupboard a week?  Soon it will all get unceremoniously dumped into boxes.

But now, we are NOT moving.  Mike did a complete 180 and we are staying at OSU.  I still don't fully understand his reasons, but as long as he is happy I am just being as flexible as possible. 

So, today I unpacked 8 boxes.  Set up the bookshelf again, set up the bassinet in the bedroom and put a few of the million hand-me-down clothes we were gifted into drawers. 

Sounds good right?  No, bad.  Now there are full boxes, and empty boxes, and piles of stuff I didn't deal with before because I was waiting to put it into boxes.  Sigh.  I worked all day and the house still looks like a tornado rolled through.

A 100 day plan

Today I attended a training about 100 day plans and the value of "working out loud" with another person.  I convinced Mike to come along as my partner and really enjoyed having him in a situation where he was forced to listen and be serious.

During the exercise we were supposed to set goals and action items in all areas of our life for the next 100 days  .  Baby Harper is expected in only 92 days.  Looking at the wealth of items I expect to get done before then was fairly terrifying.