A few weeks ago we entered the go to h-e-double hockey sticks stage (again). Night before last I had the most horrible, vivid, and exhausting dream that Henry killed himself , ostensibly over not being able to see Lawrence, and then I had to deal with all the drama. I 'woke up' as if I had never slept and decided it would be better to extend the offer of a visit and let him ruin his relationship with Lawrence himself, no matter how much I wanted to protect Lawrence from his manipulative and dishonest behavior. I have enough righteous hatred in me, but I lack the pure selfish mean-spiritedness to say he can't see a kid as wonderful as Lawrence. Of course, like the ass he is, there has been no response to my offer.
I don't want a time machine to change the past, I just want an eraser to take out parts of the present.
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