Light bulb

Ever realize something super important about yourself when you least expected it?

This morning I discovered that I am not pregnant, in the usual monthly sort of announcement way.  I also discovered I was sad about it.

Not that we are trying.  We are thinking about trying in the future, but maybe end of summer would be better?  Or next year? Or sometime when it's generally less terrifying.  So, we're not trying, but this was not our most....ahem....'careful' month.  The risk was there and he had joked about it, when we knew it wasn't really a joke.

Since we aren't quite ready, it's a good thing that we're not pregnant, right?  Right.  Then why am I so disappointed?  I'm sure Mike's scare about losing his grandfather and the fact that he has been away in Arizona for a week didn't help with hormones flooding my brain, but there must be some underlying truth.

Apparently, I am ready and may even want a little wrinkly red creature to sit in a rocker with.