by Rainer Maria Rilke (translated) |
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Monday, September 26, 2011
A Poem a Day...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
On guns, football, and satellite TV
Fall is here, it is still hot on occasion, but leaves are starting to change here and there, fottball is in the air, and rifle season starts next month.
I love fall.
I loved it more back before we had satellite. Yes, I enjoy television, far more than I should, but it seems it has become the central activity in our house now. There is always a football game on, or else a pre-game, post-game, highlights show. I only care about the Beavers and the Lions, otherwise I have no interest in watching.
On the rare occasion that football takes a break, three outdoor channels guarantee there will be some sort of show I completely do not understand the interest in watching on. Let's all whisper as we stalk along on a bow hunt. Or marvel over trick shots. Or check out the newest, coolest guns and accessories that there is no way we actually need.
I like the stupid not-really-reality shows like tiara tots or biggest loser or hoarders. They are great because I can watch for like 5 minutes, think "this is stupid" and then get up off the couch and just have it on in the background for noise while I do stuff around the house. Reminds me of how totally boring, normal and not very embarrassing I am.
I would like to get rid of TV, but I am outnumbered by electronic addicted testosterone junkies. Plus, Mike bought the TVs and pays for the monthly service, so I don't feel like I have a lot of say in the matter.
Sigh.
I love fall.
I loved it more back before we had satellite. Yes, I enjoy television, far more than I should, but it seems it has become the central activity in our house now. There is always a football game on, or else a pre-game, post-game, highlights show. I only care about the Beavers and the Lions, otherwise I have no interest in watching.
On the rare occasion that football takes a break, three outdoor channels guarantee there will be some sort of show I completely do not understand the interest in watching on. Let's all whisper as we stalk along on a bow hunt. Or marvel over trick shots. Or check out the newest, coolest guns and accessories that there is no way we actually need.
I like the stupid not-really-reality shows like tiara tots or biggest loser or hoarders. They are great because I can watch for like 5 minutes, think "this is stupid" and then get up off the couch and just have it on in the background for noise while I do stuff around the house. Reminds me of how totally boring, normal and not very embarrassing I am.
I would like to get rid of TV, but I am outnumbered by electronic addicted testosterone junkies. Plus, Mike bought the TVs and pays for the monthly service, so I don't feel like I have a lot of say in the matter.
Sigh.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Winter Count: 2001
Back in 2007 I was lucky enough to be part of a Saturday morning teachers-as-writers group with Matt Love in Newport, OR.ed
One week we did an activity modeled after a Winter Count. Each member of the group each writes about a memorable historical event / experience that they all went through, although not necessarily together. Our topic was 9/11 and below is what I jumbled down in a 10 minute free-write.
Blinds Drawn
Still grogy from another fitful night with the baby I collected the various pieces of my uniform, pulled my hair back and staggered to the car. Too tired for radio, too late to stop for tea, I drove in silence to the unit. How I hated drill mornings. Let's all stand around in formation at the crack of dawn and discuss what we'll do as officers in the Navy. My goal? To be more human and less ridiculous than my instructors. So, I generally kept silent.
I had only been back from materinity leave about a month and hadn't yet adjusted to 'working', if you could call it that, again. When I walked in everyone, meaning 10 or 15 immature guys, was talking about plane crashes and blowing up the World Trade Center. Resolved not to listen to their video game drivel, I took out my reinforced concrete book and let confusion cloud my mind.
A while later, the Commanding Officer came in and briefed us on 'the attack'. He stoicly stated that two planes had crashed into the twin towers and thousands of people were likely dead. He encouraged us to go home to our families, but to stay close to the telephone. As active duty Navy, we could be called to serve.
By the time I got home my husband knew and was glued to horrific and continuously updated coverage. It was far away from us, and I wanted it to stay that way. I took my son and went to the park. I did not take my phone. It was as though our town had been evacuated - no one on the streets, houses with blinds drawn, the only life an occasional dog left outside or squirrel unaware of global issues.
We played in the grass. I held him in my lap on the swings. Once he fell asleep I cried all the way home.
Ten years later I am lucky that 9/11 largely did stay far away from my life. No one I knew was killed. I did not get pulled into active duty. I was never sent to Afghanistan. We have continued on essentially unaffected. This morning I asked Lawrence if he knew why they were playing taps instead of the National Anthem before the game and he didn't know. When I explained it, he simply said "oh yeah, I know about that. I didn't know it was today" and walked to his room to play.
One week we did an activity modeled after a Winter Count. Each member of the group each writes about a memorable historical event / experience that they all went through, although not necessarily together. Our topic was 9/11 and below is what I jumbled down in a 10 minute free-write.
Blinds Drawn
Still grogy from another fitful night with the baby I collected the various pieces of my uniform, pulled my hair back and staggered to the car. Too tired for radio, too late to stop for tea, I drove in silence to the unit. How I hated drill mornings. Let's all stand around in formation at the crack of dawn and discuss what we'll do as officers in the Navy. My goal? To be more human and less ridiculous than my instructors. So, I generally kept silent.
I had only been back from materinity leave about a month and hadn't yet adjusted to 'working', if you could call it that, again. When I walked in everyone, meaning 10 or 15 immature guys, was talking about plane crashes and blowing up the World Trade Center. Resolved not to listen to their video game drivel, I took out my reinforced concrete book and let confusion cloud my mind.
A while later, the Commanding Officer came in and briefed us on 'the attack'. He stoicly stated that two planes had crashed into the twin towers and thousands of people were likely dead. He encouraged us to go home to our families, but to stay close to the telephone. As active duty Navy, we could be called to serve.
By the time I got home my husband knew and was glued to horrific and continuously updated coverage. It was far away from us, and I wanted it to stay that way. I took my son and went to the park. I did not take my phone. It was as though our town had been evacuated - no one on the streets, houses with blinds drawn, the only life an occasional dog left outside or squirrel unaware of global issues.
We played in the grass. I held him in my lap on the swings. Once he fell asleep I cried all the way home.
Ten years later I am lucky that 9/11 largely did stay far away from my life. No one I knew was killed. I did not get pulled into active duty. I was never sent to Afghanistan. We have continued on essentially unaffected. This morning I asked Lawrence if he knew why they were playing taps instead of the National Anthem before the game and he didn't know. When I explained it, he simply said "oh yeah, I know about that. I didn't know it was today" and walked to his room to play.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
From a wacky show “Green Wing” –
A man proves he is ready to be "the one" aka serious relationships
Question: What does “long term” mean to you?
His answer: It’s an airport car park
Question:What does monogamy mean?
His answer: Nice dark sort of wood, sideboards.
Question:
His Answer: It was only one word, and, well, let's just say he didn't go with "commitment"....
P.S. I love my job.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
First day of school
Today is Lawrence's first day of fifth grade. Kind of the beginning of the end of elementary school. I asked him this morning what he was most excited about and he said 'eh' and gave me a shoulder shrug. Sigh.
As we are walking into the building he begins with the stress - I don't know where to line up here, I don't know what the bell sounds like, where to sit at lunch, do I need a waterbottle, on and on.........I swear he does not need to breathe once the worry takes over.
We took a moment to talk about how his teacher said they would take a school tour and how he could ask any questions he had. Then I asked where he should go until the bell rang while he hid behind me. He said he'd be okay once he had the schedule and bravely walked into the gym.
Supposedly this is the last year of public school for him for awhile. I have said ever since I had to enroll him in kindergarten so I could work that I would never send him to middle school, that somehow I would homeschool by then. I mean really, did ANYONE have a good experience?
And now it is so close and I still have no plan. I mean, I have an idealistic plan, where I convince my supervisors that they should let me work from home part time. I work in the mornings and evenings and homeschool in the afternoons. I even have a backup plan where I somehow just go down to part-time employment, although the loss of insurance and pay is fairly terrifying. But these aren't true plans. Things I have really 'planned' are extensively written and scheduled, with deadlines and tasks to accomplish. My supposed plan for being in full homeschool mode 12 months from now is really more of a dream, and one I am very worried I cannot make come true.
It always comes down to money. Yes, we could do without telephones and cable and maybe even internet (although living 20 miles from the library, maybe not, especially if school would be largely at home...) but we can't live without paying the rent or eating or having electricity or a car (again, 20 miles from town). If I'm not working, who pays the bills?
I don't have a good answer, and so the plan is as of yet unplanned.
As we are walking into the building he begins with the stress - I don't know where to line up here, I don't know what the bell sounds like, where to sit at lunch, do I need a waterbottle, on and on.........I swear he does not need to breathe once the worry takes over.
We took a moment to talk about how his teacher said they would take a school tour and how he could ask any questions he had. Then I asked where he should go until the bell rang while he hid behind me. He said he'd be okay once he had the schedule and bravely walked into the gym.
Supposedly this is the last year of public school for him for awhile. I have said ever since I had to enroll him in kindergarten so I could work that I would never send him to middle school, that somehow I would homeschool by then. I mean really, did ANYONE have a good experience?
And now it is so close and I still have no plan. I mean, I have an idealistic plan, where I convince my supervisors that they should let me work from home part time. I work in the mornings and evenings and homeschool in the afternoons. I even have a backup plan where I somehow just go down to part-time employment, although the loss of insurance and pay is fairly terrifying. But these aren't true plans. Things I have really 'planned' are extensively written and scheduled, with deadlines and tasks to accomplish. My supposed plan for being in full homeschool mode 12 months from now is really more of a dream, and one I am very worried I cannot make come true.
It always comes down to money. Yes, we could do without telephones and cable and maybe even internet (although living 20 miles from the library, maybe not, especially if school would be largely at home...) but we can't live without paying the rent or eating or having electricity or a car (again, 20 miles from town). If I'm not working, who pays the bills?
I don't have a good answer, and so the plan is as of yet unplanned.
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